BLACK AND WHITE

 I have found that when you live your life, you work to either help others - or not, there is no "in-between".

 

 

Spring Blues

Since I started this blog I really have't written much, and have completely forgotten the purpose of it, and gone on this 'philisophical-tangent', about life itself, which no-one really wants to read because we all have different opinions about it, and we will never understand life until the day we die! So here is what I would like to write to all of those that actually read this (haha)

Since I started at the Shop I have gotten my restricted and a car, which is just awesome! I am looking at moving on now I have stayed here in Opotiki for nearly eleven months.Not that I feel I have outstayed my welcome, but I know when I am ready to move on. The hardest thing about it is looking for  a place to stay. My mother lives in Rotorua and I love her to bits but  think I'd like to stay on my own. Which is when the hunt for accomodation begins, in which it hasn't really yet, but I shall get there. I would love to stay in the bay area though, just ions, so I am told, and I have no reason to doubt it.of whanau, and of course the educational institutes I have come across which look appealling and they seem like thy will cater to meet my needs. I am looking at the introductory into business which will lead me onto a fairly exciting pathway, that will branch out in many directions.

At the moment nothing is set in stone, and I am jumping at almost every opportunity I come across. I cannot stay at the shop my whole life, it was a good filler for the time I have here so I can study, and I will also look at saving, and budgeting for next year. I have applied for jobs, and studt institutes just so I might be able to gain a little bit more. I am so glad that I realised what I wanted to do after I left school, instead of leaving it until it was too late.

The time I have had in Opotiki, has let me re-learn everything I had forgotten when I was institutionalized, and I am very thankful for all the people that helped me along the way. I just pray to God that I can utilise all my new information to lead a good life, and hope also that if I fall it will not be seen as a fail. It is hard to change all of a sudden and keep old habits at bay. Living in Opotiki has given me an new outlook, and it is very different from my past lifestyle (s), people will never uinderstand what it is like to adjust from such a diverse and messy background.

Gemstone

Oyster anyone?

Constantly I am being reminded of my "youthfullness". With being a youth, it means I have a lot to offer, I know nothing, and I can't be set in my ways because there hasn't been enough time for my "ways" to set. Which means that I am the perfect type of person for older people to put upon their  advice.  I'm sure I have heard the same advice more than once, but it is very much appreciated.

"The world is your oyster. You are young and pretty and smart, don't let it go to waste aye"

So many people have said  that to me. 
 Right now though we find ourselves at that in-between stage where you aren't a kid and then you aren't really an adult either. I like to think in some cases I'm  "kid" , and in others I'm an adult, for example if I was to go out for the night I'd expect not to be waited on, because I am "of age" by law, and whether the people that are meant to be responsible for us like it or not, we are in fact responsible for our own actions, no matter how absurd they may be, we can only save ourselves. 
 In the case where I would be seen as a child or even when it is acceptable, is when I am in a situation where I am out-numbered by people who are older than me. Which usually puts me in a position instantly where my manners are on the money, and I am on my best behaviour, and keep my foul language to a minimum or none at all.I guess this seems to happen to people no matter how old they are.
 It is very hard to let the older adults know what we are faced with when it comes to making decisions about our lifes journey.
 For some of us independance comes naturally, we are not co-dependant, and we can manage pretty well on our own. For the rest of us it is hard to understand the realities of life outside a home environment. We may find it hard to be independant but what we lack in independance we may have strengths in other areas. With the independant ones, we may find a lack of skill somewhere else.
  The thing that comes to my mind is, "I know it is a wonderful thing if you know the oyster has the pearl in it", in reply to 'the world is your oyster....'. And one day I know if I get to be old I will not be pretty anymore, do not be surprised if you hear me agreeing when someone says something nice about my appearance, because I know it doesn't last.

Change of heart

And here she is again: still working in Opotiki at her fifth job (I know it sounds bad, but the previous jobs were seasonal, so they were due to end anyway).


>>Down the road, about five minutes drive and a ten minutes scoot, I work at the local dairy, with my cousin and the family that owns it (btw they aren't indian). 
 It may not be the "high-heel" job that I was hoping for, or I might not be able to comment on someone's, "small-but-not-really-bum", but (haha) I get to serve the locals and meet new people everyday! I think that is time well spent.


Randomly>It is also calving season; I am helping rear a few angus cows and jersey bulls. It is interesting/hard work, and it takes a lot of thought. But you only get to see the result at the end, and so far it has proven to  be a learning curb, and the lesson applies to more than farming.


So I am going to take the opportunity to become a "tourist", in my home city. I want to go clubbing for the first time, and go bowling at the lanes, take a walk back to Te Papa, and see what I can learn. I can go to Civic Square, and have a look at the City Art Gallery, and see what new/old artist has come to show themselves off. I would like to go out to dinner to that restaurant I remember walking past on the way to school, and go onto the waterfront to go rock-climbing. That sounds like a holiday that deserves an itinerary. 


Yes! I am off to Wellington, (but only for the week), and it will be interesting to see how my perspective of things have changed.
  When I was living in Wellington, I didn't do a lot of constructive things; I would work,  go out and get drunk, and do stupid things with stupid people- that was about it. I never really embraced the city I said I loved so much.              


By the way I have gained about 7 kgs, since January this year, which is good. I don't look fat though... which takes me back. Maybe all those chocolate bar/ mag combos were serving their purpose after all...I think I needed a few extra kgs anyway. Which is cool because now I get my mags for free (except the cover, but it's what's on the inside that counts right?).


Yeah Oh, I'm sure I'll go and see some of the people I used to hang out with......but I wouldn't want them to see me in my size ten jeans ;P


That's all for now folks!
Gemstone

High-heel jobs

Well, it has been a slow year for me, I travelled up to the Eastern Bay, and found myself working for the locals in Opotiki.

I've ventured up here from Wellington to discover and experience "the things I do not want to do with my time".

I have worked in a bar and restaurant, orchards, and given my uncle a hand at plumbing too, except, I don't think cleaning up waste that has come up from the toilet is something I want to do. In fact I do not want to work in a bar, or in an orchard.

At 18 this has proven to be a very valuable lesson.

I want to work in a building filing documents, writing letters, opening mail, receiving and making phone calls & doing research while wearing high heels.

Or even folding clothes, and saying "your bum looks good in those jeans", even though it doesn't, dressing mannequins, making up display windows while wearing high heels.

I'm the type of girl that can sit and read a fashion magazine all-day while eating junk food and not get fat. So why would I want to spent the rest of my days in a place where I feel like I may contract a disease? When I can be out there, quoting July's issue of Cosmopolitan, and seek out what this months 'It' girl wore, for that customer?

Working in a small town like this makes you work out what your potential is, where you feel most comfortable, and what you most enjoy and the reasons for it. You see people who have worked here, slaving away at the job they have been in for years because they have no choice but to be there.I for one do not want to be one of those people.

I now know what suits me, because I definitely know what doesn't.